To anyone who knows us, it is totally obvious that my daughter Brittany and I do not have your typical mother - daughter relationship.
Sure, we argue when I set limits. On occasion, we fight to the death when it comes to her taking the garbage out on Monday nights. And of course, we have screaming matches over her friends...well, one of her friends anyway...the one that I positively loathe with a white hot burning passion.
But at the end of the day, my daughter truly is my best friend in the world.
It's been just us since I left her father when she was four months old. As a baby, she held my ADD afflicted attention in her tiny grasp...she was the center of my world. Something that hasn't changed in eighteen years.
Being divorced and raising an only child has lead to a unique experience. I never had to share her attention, and she has never had to share mine. And even better yet...we share common interests. We've bonded over long discussions about InuYasha, watching Lilo and Stitch the series together every day after she got home from school, her turning me on to Harry Potter and even making snarky cracks about Twilight.
We have fun together, we laugh together. Like yesterday....
Britt is trying to grow her hair out from the short cut she has worn for the past five years. While waiting for the bus outside of Target, I looked up and noticed how shaggy her hair is looking now that it has officially reached the 'in between stage'
And so this exchange took place...
Brittany: My feet aren't anywhere near as big as yours!
Yeah, it's one of those 'You had to be there moments' for it was how she said it that made it truly funny. I unfortunately was in the process of drinking from my bottle of water... water spewed not just from my mouth, but my nose as well!
I guess that probably sounds infantile and immature to most. But, that's the thing... being with Brittany makes me feel young. Like I am a kid again. So it's okay if I am a little immature sometimes. With my depression and health problems, there have been times where she has had to take on the role of adult. Three years ago when my appendix ruptured, I was being a big baby and refusing to go to the ER. It was her that forced me to go. Her that called the ambulance, even though I was still staying no. If she hadn't...I would be dead now.
Even more importantly, it was her to lead me to Jesus Christ.
My daughter is one of the most amazing people I have ever known. Yes, she recently skipped school and got hit by a car after walking through a red light. But the truth is, I have one great kid.
I may never win the powerball lottery...but I won the kid lottery back in 1991. Brittany has never smoked, never done drugs, never drank and she has made a vow to herself and to GOD to remain pure until her wedding night. She has an amazing heart for Jesus and has been evangelizing since she was eight years old when she was over at the park telling the other kids about Jesus...and this was in the days when her mother was claiming to be an atheist (though she knew better...even then).
Yesterday over lunch Brittany and I were talking about this...about this bond we share, and she said something that makes me teary even now thinking about it.
"When you had me it was like you gave birth to the sister you always wanted mom."
We laughed at first, we'd been talking about how we argue sometimes, calling each other silly names...like Sasquatch and Butt. How we will be arguing one minute and then something will strike us funny and we end up laughing.
But what she said was true. In a way, she is like the sister I always wanted. Growing up with three brothers I never had the experience of watching cartoons together in our pajamas, sitting up late into the night and talking about any and everything. Watching movie after movie and making silly jokes during uber-dramatic scenes.
I am so lucky! I have a daughter-sister-best friend all rolled up into one amazing person and my only cause of sadness is that eventually, she is going to fly away.
But even then I will be happy for her, watching her spread her beautiful wings and soar away to what God has waiting for her. I know that whatever she ends up doing...she will be amazing at it.
I just hope by then I am living somewhere where I can have pets....a way to take away some of the loneliness I will feel when my angel flies away.
I've always wanted to be one of those crazy cat ladies.