Friday, February 12, 2010

Why I Loathe Valentines Day

Geesh, it's that time again. Why dont they just call it what it REALLY is?

Greeting Card, Jewelers, Candy Maker's, Florists, Let's Torture Those Who Are Single Day.

Oh right..Hallmark wouldn't be able to fit it on the front of one of their cheesy $10.00 cards.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for public displays of affection. Holding hands in public, putting an arm around that special someone, even public kissing as long as it doesn't involve groping, visual tongue use and flying spit that splatters anyone in a five yard radius.

But let's face it folks. Walk into any store right now and you can see what Valentines Day is really about. Show someone you love them by spending a wad of cash that, to be honest, in this economy NOBODY can really afford.

I made my weekly foray into the mercantile world yesterday ... and all it did was increase my loathing.

Wal-Mart has increased their supply of diamonds, and, their size has become ludicrous. Earring's, rings...particularly engagement rings, bracelets, watches and body jewelry...personally loved the diamond encrusted nose ring.

Heart shaped balloons, greeting cards and bouquets of flowers have been stacked in every corner of the place...even in the fruit of the looms. Not to mention the sleazy crap that has worked its way in with the warm fleece and flannel granny nightgowns that I live for.

Oh and my favorite discovery of the day...while walking from the bus stop to the shrinks office I passed our local porn shop and found this sign in the window...

"Free CD's with every purchase over $50, make great Valentine's gifts!"

Yeah...because nothing says "I love you" like porn.

Of course, maybe I shouldn't be at all surprised by this, unlike most, I know from whence Valentines Day comes.

Lupercalia...the ancient roman celebration of fertility and the Goddess Venus. And how did they celebrate? By choosing their sex partner for the next year. It was the Christian church who, in an attempt to lead the Romans from sin.

For more information of the history of Valentines Day you can read it here:

Valentines Day Info from Wikipedia

I normally wouldn't refer anyone to Wikipedia as it is a crappy source of information and untrustworthy as members can change information at will. But as it confirms information I have already read from more reliable sources, I will use it. To be honest...Two days before Valentines Day I am already so sick of hearing about it I don't feel up to looking for a proper source. I have all I can do to buy something for my daughter.

Perhaps the thing I hate the most about this holiday is the fact that it makes single people feel like crap. Unlike other holidays that center around family such as Christmas and New Years, the focus isn't on loving your parents, or your child. It's your significant other. I woke up this morning to 13 e-mails reminding me to tell my spouse how much I love him/her.


And these were all different e-mails. Not even a single chain that was being passed from friends who all knew each other. I had another 10 from online stores I frequent, 8 of which were jewelry and flower shops reminding me it wasn't too late to special over night delivery a special gift for the one I had chosen to spend my life with.

They might just have well sent out e-mails saying

44+single=HELLO LOSER!!!

Oh, and then I saw this one online dating service with a messages along these lines "Alone this Valentines day? Don't be next year!"

So for the next two days, I won't be going out in public cause I don't want to see some idiot proposing to his girlfriend on a billboard (yep, saw it last year), I won't be turning on the T.V. cause I don't want to watch some idiot yelling out "I Love This Woman" while holding a rock the size of Kansas in his hand (which we all know is the proper way of saying I Love You) and I will be training my eyes to stay away from the ad's while I am on the computer lest decides to ensure me I will be happily married this time next year.

Then, Sunday night while the rest of the world is saying I love you while watching Twilight , I will be watching "Fatal Attraction" cause let's face it folks... crazy obsessive freaks are a lot more realistic than sparkling vampire males who are extremely good looking, have no faults and worship the ground you walk on.

A man with no faults? Sorry honey, I've been married and divorced...

...I'm more likely to believe the extremely good looking sparkling vampire bit.

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